I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
