So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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