on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
