i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
