she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
