he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my being single is dangerous.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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