made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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