I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
