Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm bleeding and have questions
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