She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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