The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
wow bdsm is so cute
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
