i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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