Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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