I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
