where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
