I faked an abortion last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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