Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
