your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
