you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and she was petting her beer can
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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