Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize