his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
