dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
