So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
