Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
