I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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