wrigley field is MILF paradise
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
