You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
