Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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