Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
