dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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