I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize