Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
