dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
