I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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