she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
