if i can run in heels then i can drive
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
