Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
