They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Found the puke drawer
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
