Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
