True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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