Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
