Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
