i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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