turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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