When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
