i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i drank out of a bidet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
