I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
