Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We left an ass print on the piano.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
