I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
