i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He? As in you personified your dick?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize