She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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