found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
