Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my poor anus
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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