Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize