You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
