Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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