don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
