I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
