If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
