So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
