well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
